The Colossal Spawn

Sue,

I am embarrassed to admit this. I cannot even believe I have forgotten to tell you.

So The Lawyer and I have been working out with our trainer, Colossus, twice a week for about three months now. Have I mentioned I can now dead-lift one hundred and forty three pounds?! Hot, right?

Anyway, so we are both totally smitten with our trainer - not only has he transformed our bods, but he is just a great guy - and last week before our session, The Lawyer and I went on a very special shopping trip... because Colossus is having a baby! 

Yes, that's right. His girlfriend is about to pop out the Colossal Spawn. A baby boy, which is obviously just perfect. A little mini weightlifting machine! They just picked out a name, which I will keep from the blogosphere but let me just say it is a total gladiator name, which is genius. I seriously cannot wait to meet this little dude.

Plus, the Colossal Spawn gave us (me) the perfect excuse to shop at my FAVE store here in the UK, Cath Kidston. Wanna see what we got him? Prepare for your biological clock to be assaulted:

Image courtesy of Cath Kidston

It's a little cowboy dining set! Complete with sippy cup, spoon, and bowl with a suction cup to keep it on the table. We thought the cowboy theme was unabashedly American, perfect for our gift to Colossus and Spawn. (Plus, they didn't have a Gladiator/Barbarian pattern - cowboys are as macho as Cath gets.) Apparently the little (big) guy already has a closet full of clothes, so we wanted to get them something useful. 

Except, we couldn't resist this:

Image courtesy of Cath Kidston

Yes, those are cowboys and covered wagons. I mean. Do you love it or do you LOVE it? 

All I can say is, I hope Cath is still making this pattern when I'm preggo with a boy. Sigh. Until then, at least we have the Colossal Spawn to spoil.

Ok, must go tame the biological clock.

xoxo,

DG

Dooce Indeed!

Dude.  I LOVE Dooce! (Obv.)

This is a revelation!  Something we actually have in common!!  I never thought you'd be interested in a blog about a mom and her kid and her husband - alas, Sue, to hear that you are a fellow admirer of Heather B. Armstrong has warmed my heart.

And, I mean, could her daughter Leta be any more adorable?  Wait - don't answer that unless you are currently in a pro-baby phase.  You switch between pro-baby and anti-spawn so fast I can never keep track.  It was rhetorical anyway because the answer is NO, that kid could not be any more gorgeous.  I love how Heather B. Armstrong (sounds so professional, eh? Makes me wish I had a middle initial... or a maiden name) quotes conversations she's had with Leta.  But my favorite thing about Dooce is how Heather writes a letter to Leta every month.  Totally inspiring and heartwarming.  To those of us with active biological clocks, anyway.

Which brings me to my next point!  Just in case you thought I was joking about strolling for strollers in No.Hill... I took this photo with my iPhone a few hours ago:

Yes, that says "the pram shop."  Have I made you lose your lunch?

Lots of love to the lunch-lost lady,

Jen

Survival of the Fabulousest

My darling DP! 

I have survived!  My house may be full of meringue crumbs, I may spend the next two days washing sheets and towels, and the kitchen might need a industrial-level disinfection, but I survived my teenage house guests.

And here is the better news... my biological clock is still intact!  PHEW.

You know, I really feared the worst.  But even though I spent two full days entertaining, feeding, and cleaning up after these girls, I am in fine form this morning and ready for my most thorough date with Dyson ever.  I will obv keep you posted on that, because I know you care.

Anyway, I couldn't help but think, as my fridge was being raided, my living room torn apart (of course they wanted to sleep in the room with a Wii, big screen TV, and computer instead of our lovely lavender guest room), and my dishes dirtied, that teenagers aren't so bad at all!  They're a little lazy and a little smelly, but I really didn't mind them.  Fancy that.

Frankly, I was kind of hoping their visit would quell my biological clock.  Alas, no success.  I think I'll go take a walk through Notting Hill to see the latest Bugaboo stroller styles and colors.

Tata!

xoxo

DG

Domestic Goddess Takes on Teenagers

Dearest DP,

Rings!  Fabulous!  I must admit I do hope you see the light - no, not the glorious rays of light emanating from my future Ring of Dreams, the metaphoric light - and decide to show your commitment to The Doctor by wearing a gorge engagement ring - oh no wait - partnership ring on your ring finger.  Did you find any you like?  Moissanite?  Mokume Gane?  Details, woman!

As for me, well, you may not be hearing from me for awhile.  I am preparing my biological clock for an attack of a most gruesome nature: teenagers.  In my house.  For two days.

That's right.  The Lawyer and I offered to host an expat family friend's two teenage daughters for a couple of days.  And they arrive in approximately 90 minutes.

Now, I have known these girls since they were babies.  I lived over here in England with their family for a couple of summers, so I am kind of the big sister they never had.  Or at least I was.  I haven't seen them for a few years so I have no idea what the dynamic will be now that they are adolescents.  Ack!  I mean I was a terrible little witch when I was in middle school, and an insecure mess in high school (well, at least for the first year or so, until I embraced my nerdiness and gained a little fabulous and became quite cool, actually).  I know I will be able to handle anything that comes my way.  But I cannot speak for my biological clock.  For her, I fear the worst.

Which is probably a good thing, since I'll soon be starting grad school and all.  Not exactly the time to get knocked up.  Oh, and before you remind me yet again, I am also neither married nor engaged.  Right-o!

Ok, I'm off to rev up the Dyson before the girls arrive.  Wish me luck!

xoxo

DG