Baby Gladiator Comes Home

Dearest Fat Obsessin' and Biological Clock-Rejectin' Sue,

17%?! You are insane!! I always knew you were hot and have always envied your concave tummy, but DAMN GAL!

For my part, since working out with and getting my knees pinched by Colossus, I have gone from 25.5% down to 20%, where I am currently attempting to stay despite my MBoozeA lifestyle. We shall see. At this point though, between my ever-increasing fondness for Colossus and the ever-decreasing time before I have to fit into my wedding dress of dreams, I have a feeling I will be able to stick to my good workout regimen. 

In other Colossus-related news... guard your loins, ladies!

Baby Gladiator hath arrived into the United Kingdom! This is very exciting. Not only because Colossus and family can begin their life here at last, but also because it gives me an excuse to go back to Cath Kidston for more baby goodies!

I mean, right?

Let me explain. Baby Gladiator was born outside the UK because apparently the maternity care here blows (GREAT. Not that this is about me...). Obv Baby and BabyMama had to wait awhile before Baby Gladiator could fly home. But now the family is together at last.

But back to shopping. If you recall, The Lawyer and I purchased two ridiculously adorable items for Baby Gladiator in Cath's cowboy print. Well! Look at what else she has! I might not be able to resist! After all, BG's first birthday is still an awfully long way away...

A cowboy bear! How cute is this?!

Or how about this:

A "pram blanket" as they call it here. Seriously? I am becoming obsessed with Brit baby lingo.

My ultimate favorite, though, is this:

Oh. Yes. The Cowboy Nappy Bag. But BabyMama can't have it. I've already got dibs.

xoxo,

Biological Clock-Rejoicin' Jen

DomestiGals and Body Fat

Oops. First of all, when I wrote the subject title I had, "DomestiGals and Body Fart."

Not exactly what our community would really want to hear, I'm sure. That said, I know you're all just dying to hear about our body fat percentages!

Which brings me to my big question for Jen: Now that you're nerding-away in MBA la-la land, is your butt getting bigger?

I mean, I know anytime I've been in school, my butt has definitely expanded.

Jen, are you still going to be seeing Colossus? Tell me more about Bridal Boot Camp rather than Math Boot Camp! Will he still be threatening to take your body fat percentage by pinching the fat AROUND YOUR KNEE? (Isn't he aware that your wedding-dress-of-dreams won't be showing your knees?)


Photo via NYMag.

I have a feeling Colossus thinks your wedding-dress-of-dreams is supposed to look like this:


Photo Courtesy: www.herhighnessness.com

BTW, this seems insane, no? I remember getting body fat percentages done in my high school health class, and my 99 year old teacher squeezing my triceps while encouraging us to draw pictures of testicles. (I'm not joking, we had to draw pictures of testicles. I was so embarrassed, as I had never seen real, live testicles before! But that's another story...)

Back in high school, my body fat percentage was around 24%, which is insane, since I was in a ballet company. I think it was just because we weren't doing any strength training. Now that I've got my butt-busting-DomestiGal workout to adhere to, my doctor told me last year I'm down to 17%. I'd applaud, except I watched some cheerleader MTV special the other day (reason #10 why I don't have a TV) where all these girls were getting screamed at for having body fat measurements of 13%.

Obviously I watched this episode with an overflowing bowl of buttered popcorn and beer.

Anyway, for some reason I feel like knee-fat-squeezing borders on being inhumane. Aside from all this, I'm just mad at Colossus for making me even more neurotic and checking every-other-glass-of-wine to see if the fat around my hefty-Asian-cankles has since expanded.

Solemnly,

DomestiGal Sue