Fitness: How Far is Too Far?

Hello Non-Honeymoonin' Sue!

Palau is hot. The Lawyer and I have been thinking about our honeymoon but have not been able to even really narrow down our list - there is too much to see! However I have decided that, wherever we go, we will end our honeymoon in Munich for Oktoberfest. I mean obv I will not miss the perfect chance to spend a little more time with my ancestors... remember these dudes?

If they don't ooze "romantic honeymoon" I don't know who does!

Though frankly the thought of drinking lots of beer makes me feel a little ill right now, because I am still recovering from my session with Colossus yesterday. During which I puked my guts out (if you will recall from my tweet).

Now if I do recall, you recently made a friend of yours honk, correct? Ahem, if I may quote you directly from your tweet: "Sue went to the gym with her friend, Kat, and put her through Sue's strength training routine. Kat threw up. Poor Kat. Mean Sue."

All this exercise-induced hurling as got me thinking. Are we going too far? Pushing ourselves too hard? How hard is too hard? (MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, SUE! I MEAN FIGURATIVELY HARD!)

Granted, I probably should not have eaten a full breakfast of eggs, bacon, and sausage yesterday a mere few hours before my workout. And it was the first real workout I'd done with Colossus in awhile, and he basically put me through a death circuit. But still. I am not thrilled to have honked.

Sue, what are your thoughts on workout-related vomit? 

Gals in the blogosphere, have you ever been pushed to these ridiculous limits? Or are Sue and I just insane?

Off to drink some more tummy-calming tea...

xoxo,

DomestiGal Jen

DomestiGals Welcome Caz!

Hello ladies! We are so excited to bring you another fabulous guest writer, Caz from Cherry Blossoms and Vodka. (First of all, how fab a name is that?!) Caz blogs about - well, let us quote her: "my new life in Australia, adjusting to 'the real world' out of uni, sports, shoes, and nights with too much wine. I live to snowboard, and want to see the world before I'm 30. Plus, if you ask nicely? I can say the alphabet backwards, really, really fast."

Enjoy the fabulosity that is Caz!

XOXO,

DomestiGals Sue and Jen


First guest post ever!! (Can you tell I’m excited?!?! Because I am. Fo’ realz.)

So there are many things I have in common with the DomestiGals, thus prompting quite a few potential posts to run through my head in the past week. I could write about living as an ex-pat and getting used to being the Canadian in Australia… but I kinda feel I’ve done that to death on my blog. I could write about AB’s and my life as “domestic partners” and our back-and-forth decision to apply for my de-facto spouse Visa (although I’m more like Jen in that I totally want to be a Bride!!! Just in 5 years. Maybe.) I could write about my plans for eventual grad school, but considering I JUST graduated in May, I have a long time before I plan on an MBA and have done nothing more than poke around at my dream schools on the internetz.

Instead, I decided to share my plan to jump back on the fitness wagon, and how having all the knowledge in the world doesn’t necessarily make it easy. Here it goes…

As I mentioned, I recently graduated from university. I graduated with a degree in Human Kinetics actually. Which means that for the past 4 ½ years* I have studied fitness, health, and sport. I know every muscle in my body; I know the biomechanics of eating an apple, or climbing a ladder (yes, these were actual exam questions, and yes, we totally mimed reaching out and picking up an apple and biting into it, or stood up out of our desks and climbed imaginary ladders.) I know the medical consequences of smoking and the treatment for type 2 diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure) and acute myocardial infractions (heart attack). I took classes on fitness training for everyone from sedentary senior citizens to Olympic athletes. Basically, I know pretty much everything and anything about being physically fit.

Somehow** I still managed to gain the Freshman 15. And the Sophomore 10, and the Serious Relationship 20… ok maybe not that much, since I pretty much refuse to step on the scale, but let’s just say that 6 months after high-school graduation I could no longer fit into my prom dress. And I’ve just kept gaining weight since.

Recently I’ve realized that all this weight I’ve gained, has stuck around for 5 years!! 5 YEARS PEOPLE!!! It’s been 5 whole years that I’ve hated my body, dreaded wearing a bikini, and ‘attempted’ to lose weight.

Actually, I lie. It’s been a lot more than that. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always thought of myself as ‘fat’, but only the last 4 years that I really have been. And now I’m no longer in university. I can no longer use the excuse that drinking 12 beers in a night is the norm, and that the reason I ordered pizza at midnight was because everyone was stoned. I don’t live with 5 other people who always provide a more fun activity than going to the gym, and I can’t use studying as an excuse to eat an entire box of Smarties. Mmmm I love Smarties! Did you know there aren’t Smarties in Australia? Or the US? Just M&M’s. They’re missing out. /end tangent.

While I’ve started many weight loss attempts before, they always got derailed when fun parties and communal dinners got in the way of gym-sessions and salads. And after one night of bad eating and the inevitable hangover breakfast I always say “screw it all.”

Basically? I have NO willpower. And I know it. I am the QUEEN of making up excuses to skip the gym, or eat more than I need to. I WANT to lose weight; I just don’t want to give up all the yummy things I eat. I KNOW HOW to lose weight; I’ve just been lacking the discipline to work out when going out is more fun.

But this time? No excuses. I’m no longer in college and I can no longer keep eating and drinking like I am. Unfortunately, it’s time to grow up. I know the consequences and I can’t plead ignorance or lack of knowledge. The upside? Is hopefully I’ll be physically fit, no longer be anxious about team sports, and have a wicked new body to showcase. Maybe for once in my life I’ll actually feel comfortable in it.

The plan: Starts Now. Ok it actually started 2 weeks ago, but then I had a week of vacation with Red (the skinniest girl ever, who eats more junk food then I thought possible), Grand Final weekend –the first big BBQ/drinking weekend of the summer, and the bad news about AB’s Nan and so diet and finding time to exercise were the last things on my mind. I’m back on the bandwagon this week.

Exercise:
• I’ve joined the gym nearby and worked out a schedule for going right after work. (Once I’m home at night, you can never convince me to leave again!)

• Start going to 6:15am classes Note: before this happens AB needs to teach me how to drive the manual car. Because while it’s a 2 minute drive, I know I won’t get out of bed to walk the 10 minutes. 6:00am is an acceptable wake-up time. 5:45 am is most definitely not.

• Keep running the 4.7km loop around work. Do this at least 3x/week***.

• Make plans to incorporate exercise into my weekends. Don’t let AB’s love of couch-potato-ing convince you to stay in. It’s gorgeous out so explore the city!

• Try the Cycling classes. I need someone to kick my butt. Plus needing to cancel 24hrs in advance will keep me from wussing out at the last second.

Diet:
• Measure out ½ cup portions of pasta and rice, and then fill out the rest of the meal with veggies. I am terrible at eyeballing portions, and I loooove carbs. Sure they’re almost always whole-grain, but I could seriously eat 2 cups of pasta if I let myself.

• Eat soup first. I’ve been on a miso soup kick, and the hot broth totally fills me up so I am satisfied.

• Make lunches in the evening to take for work. Bring enough food, and don’t bring cash to work.

• Get over things needing to be fair. Life’s not fair, and AB will always be able to eat 2 cups of ice cream every night without gaining weight. I can’t. He is a very skinny boy with a very fast metabolism and while I can physically fit as much in my stomach as he can, I shouldn’t be able to. Buy his 2-litre tub of cheap ice cream, which he will eat in 4 days. Buy the yummy, 500ml, expensive stuff for me, and save it for as long as possible.

• Go shopping even when AB hates to. Make sure there are always salad fixings in the fridge. Wash and dry the lettuce immediately, so I’m not too lazy to do it later.

Obviously, I’m going to work each of these goals into my life as it comes. Starting out all at once is one of the easiest ways to burn out. I want to develop habits people. Things that stick with me, no thinking required. I know I won’t lose all this weight overnight… It took me 4 years to gain it after all. But I want to be healthy. I want to be able to run 10km in less than 60 minutes (I’m at 72 minutes right now, and I could do it in 60 min 6 years ago.) I want to be comfortable in a bikini, and I want to have more than “such a pretty face”, I want to just be “pretty”.

The advice that’s worked the best for me so far? Make better choices EVERY time. Don’t let one bad decision wreck the rest of your day, or week. Start over the VERY NEXT time you’re faced with the healthy and unhealthy possibility.

*yes it took me more than 4 years… shut up, I went travelling, I didn’t fail anything!

**By somehow, I mean joining the Ski and Snowboard Club and spending about ¾ of my university career drunk. Or hungover and curing it with greasy food and more beer. While snowboarding is athletic, it’s not athletic enough to counteract the 80 Jagerbombs we bought one night (between 10 people!).

***I ran yesterday and my leg still hurts today. While it often hurts when running, it always goes away the second I stop. Must consult ze internetz on possibilities of what could be wrong***

*** While I never condone diagnosing medical conditions online, I have taken many, many anatomy and physiology classes. If I had my textbooks here in Oz, I’d look it up in there. Alas, anatomy textbooks weigh about 50lbs each, and I decided I’d rather bring shoes to Oz then textbooks. I am knowledgeable enough to determine what is crap and what isn’t. Plus, if it continues to hurt, I’ll totally go to the doctor.****

**** Ok I’m lying, I won’t because I don’t have medical insurance here. Shhh… don’t tell my parents. But that’s a whole other can of worms, so please spare me the lecture!*****

*****Must stop using *’s now.

Baby Gladiator Comes Home

Dearest Fat Obsessin' and Biological Clock-Rejectin' Sue,

17%?! You are insane!! I always knew you were hot and have always envied your concave tummy, but DAMN GAL!

For my part, since working out with and getting my knees pinched by Colossus, I have gone from 25.5% down to 20%, where I am currently attempting to stay despite my MBoozeA lifestyle. We shall see. At this point though, between my ever-increasing fondness for Colossus and the ever-decreasing time before I have to fit into my wedding dress of dreams, I have a feeling I will be able to stick to my good workout regimen. 

In other Colossus-related news... guard your loins, ladies!

Baby Gladiator hath arrived into the United Kingdom! This is very exciting. Not only because Colossus and family can begin their life here at last, but also because it gives me an excuse to go back to Cath Kidston for more baby goodies!

I mean, right?

Let me explain. Baby Gladiator was born outside the UK because apparently the maternity care here blows (GREAT. Not that this is about me...). Obv Baby and BabyMama had to wait awhile before Baby Gladiator could fly home. But now the family is together at last.

But back to shopping. If you recall, The Lawyer and I purchased two ridiculously adorable items for Baby Gladiator in Cath's cowboy print. Well! Look at what else she has! I might not be able to resist! After all, BG's first birthday is still an awfully long way away...

A cowboy bear! How cute is this?!

Or how about this:

A "pram blanket" as they call it here. Seriously? I am becoming obsessed with Brit baby lingo.

My ultimate favorite, though, is this:

Oh. Yes. The Cowboy Nappy Bag. But BabyMama can't have it. I've already got dibs.

xoxo,

Biological Clock-Rejoicin' Jen

Jen: Domestic Goddess or Domestic Bod-dess?

Sue,

So now that I am a lame-o graduate student, my twice-weekly workouts with Colossus have now been cut in half. Sadly, I will only see him on weekends now - the only thing that's (way) worse is only seeing The Lawyer on weekends too but DO NOT even get me started on that one.

Anyway, I am a little worried that graduate school will stifle my progress with my Colossal Butt-Kickings. But for now, at least, I am still Colossus' star pupil. In fact, in our last session, Colossus told me (seriously) that if I wanted to, I could be a professional bodybuilder. 

Ok now stop laughing.

"Google Jennifer Nicole Lee," he said. "If you put yourself to it, you could be like her."

So DomestiGal Jen Googled this Jennifer. And here is what I found.

Photo: http://hollywoodfitnessmodels.blogspot.com

Um, I'm sorry, WHAT?! Also: I promise she's a fitness guru, not a porn star.

Yes, this is the woman Colossus claims I can be:

Photo: http://www.healthylivingnyc.com

Hell YEAH!

Um, except I will never look like that. For the following reasons:

A) I'm a graduate student, so there is beer. 

B) Be it banned or not, I am a Nutellaholic and always will be.

C) I would rather have The Lawyer invest in my Ring of Dreams than a Rack of Dreams.

But obv I am totally flattered that Colossus sees such potential (even if he is in for ultimate disappointment). And this woman is actually fairly fabulous and underwent an A to the Mazing transformation to get to where she is. 

Here she is on Oprah - check out the "before" pics and the cute exercises she does with her kiddies:

Pretty rad, eh?

And I will totally be using those fitness moves when I have babies. Yipee! Babies!

Love,

Jennifer the Domestic Bod-dess

Butt-Busting Tips from a Blushing Bride-to-Be

Sue,

I have had a few requests to share how my tuchus is looking so fine these days. And while I cannot give away all of Colossus' secrets, I do have some tips I'd be thrilled to spill into DomestiGal Land.

Granted, you all must take my word for it when I say I'm lookin' hot. But I'd be the first to admit if my efforts with Colossus were not paying off. It would not be worth banning Nutella from my pantry, trust me.

So here is an example of one of my workouts (which takes about an hour):
Elevated lunges (4 sets/8 reps)
Chest presses (4 sets/8 reps)
[break]
Lunge jumps (4 sets/30 reps)
Tricep dips (4 sets/15 reps OR 8 reps with weight)
Crunches on the exercise ball (4 sets/15 reps)
Push-ups (4 sets/10 reps)
[break]
Tabata squat and press (8 sets/8 reps)

Here in more detail are some of the tuchus-oriented moves:

Elevated lunges - 4 sets of 8 reps per leg, with weights in each hand
I do these with one foot up on a step, like the side of a treadmill. The elevation increases the range of motion. Also, some exercise mags or books tell you that you have to keep your front leg at a 90-degree angle when you lunge down: FALSE. Feel free to bend the leg over your foot - the farther the range of motion the more muscles you will use. Also, remember, don't be afraid to use heavy weights. Women's legs are stronger than men's, so we can handle some major weight with this exercise without developing gladiator legs. The heavier the weights I use, the more toned - not big - my legs look the next day. It is truly a Dyson-caliber miracle!

Step-ups - 4 sets of 8 reps per leg, with weights in each hand; try to work up to 15 reps per leg
These will kick your hiney but in a good way! Substitute them for the lunges in the workout above. Take a weight in each hand. Stand next to a sturdy(!!!) bench. Put one foot up on the bench. Step up with that leg, and bring your other knee up to your chest, then back down to the floor. Repeat 8 times, then move to the other side of the bench and switch legs. These are a total cardio workout too. Bonus!

Lunge jumps - 4 sets of 30 reps (NO weights on this one! They are hard enough as-is!)
Stand with your hands on your hips. Jump into a lunge (one foot forward, one back, kneeling almost to the floor). From that position, as you stand up, jump again - switching legs into another lunge. Colossus makes me do this for at least a minute straight, which is hell. On my own I do 30 reps (Ssshhhh! Don't tell him!).

Squat-thrusts - 4 sets of 30 reps (No weights on this one either!)
The Lawyer and I call these "Froggy Jumps" - start in a downward-dog-like position (for you Domestic Yogis!), with palms on the floor, feet on the floor, and your butt up in the air. Jump forward, as high a jump as you can and as far forward as you can; then jump back to starting position. Repeat as fast as you can. Substitute these for the lunge jumps in the workout above.

Ok, on to Tabata!

This is the grand finale of every workout with Colossus (read: the most butt-kicking exercise of all, coming at the end of the workout when you're already totally exhausted)...

Tabata has many variations but the important thing is this: do intervals of 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off, for about 4 minutes. This is a great, fat-burning end to a workout and was the result of a landmark study in 1996 by this guy, Dr. Izumi Tabata:

And his peeps.

The way I do it is this: Start with weights in each hand. Stand with your feet about shoulder-width apart, whatever is comfortable for squatting down. Curl the weights up to your shoulders. Squat down as far as you can go (stick that butt out!), and as you stand up, press the weights up until your arms are straight up and you are standing straight up. Bring the weights back to your shoulders and repeat.

PHEW!

Feelin' the burn yet, ladies?

If any of you have other workout tips (ahem, concave-stomached SUE!) feel free to share! Communal hotness abounds!

Your squatting fiend forever,

Domestic Goddess Jen

P.S. I also just happened upon this FABULOUS blog by the Fit Bottomed Girls (first of all could I love their name any more? No, I could not.). Gals, you will be hearing more about (and from!) these ladies in the near future... until then, squat yourselves silly!

Why I Heart and Hate Europe

Sue,

Sorry it has taken me a few days to reply... I am finally recovered from your scandalous commentary (and the scary visuals that went with it - yikes). Not that I'm opposed to porn, per se, but, well, yes, I think perhaps you need a break. Ack! Now I'm all flustered again. Ok, focus.

So, I spoke too soon. Not about porn, but about chocolate. Specifically, Nutella (or, as it is known to us true devotees, Sex in a Jar). I knew I should not have made such a big deal about banishing Nutella from my pantry and my heart until my honeymoon. Because I live in Europe now, and as the old saying goes, you can take the girl out of the Nutella, but you can't take the Nutella out of the continent. Or whatever.

LOOK AT THIS:

Your eyes do not deceive you. That is a GIANT GLASS PITCHER of Nutella, you know, just casually gracing the shelf of a grocery store.

Argh! Will Colossus and my upcoming nuptials be enough to help me conquer this foe???

Stay tuned. And put the vibrator down.

xoxo,

DG

We Fit

My dear DP,

I emailed my friend Sasha to fill her in on my new training regimen, and couldn’t help but attach a photo of my uberhot trainer. She perhaps captured my journey to fitness best: "There are really no words for your trainer. How are you doing without wine?"

Which, considering my behavior back in NYC, especially right before we moved (you know the combo of the holidays + leaving my job + saying goodbye to all my NYC peeps was an alcohol-bloat- extravaganza), is an understandable reaction and a fair question. But what's miraculous, besides Colossus himself, obv, is the fact that I haven't missed alcohol! I haven't missed chocolate! And the only carb I've longed for is this fabulous granola they make at one of the grocery stores over here. I mean that stuff must be laced with crack. The BF and I could polish off one huge-ass bag a week. I somehow found a way to incorporate it into every meal, even more creatively than I did with Nutella. (Because let's face it, more often than not I would just eat Nutella out of the jar with a spoon. Who doesn’t?)

Anyway, all this is to say that I am very proud of myself for conquering my vices and getting fit for real. Of course, if your wedding is not going to motivate you to put down the Nutella jar, what will? But it's incredibly empowering to feel like the BF and I are changing our lifestyle for the better. And I thought you, Ms. Fitness Guru, would appreciate that.

Xoxo,

DG

P.S. In case you didn't notice, that subject line up there is a clever little pun (if I do say so myself) - you know, Wii Fit? We (the BF and I) are Fit? Get it? But seriously, I feel a little weird to be obsessed with a Nintendo product but I cannot wait for the BF to purchase us a Wii Fit - which I know he will, because he is a gadgetaholic. Have you seen these things? You can do yoga on it! You can do balance exercises on it! It's like having your own personal trainer right at home! Not that anything could ever replace Colossus. But. I'm just saying. The Wii Fit looks hot.

Domestic Gimp Seeks Sue Wisdom

Sue.

Ok, so you were my original fitness guru, before I was cast into the big, beefy, brawny arms of Colossus. And now here I am, hobbling back to you for some girl-guru-to-girl-gimp advice.

You see, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, I am still sore. I worked out with the man FIVE DAYS AGO and I am still sore. What is wrong with me??? I thought I was fit! I mean, I've run two marathons! Come on people! You know I was fit. Heck, even Colossus admits that I'm fitter than I look (thanks a lot, mister). And it's nothing mayjah - I didn't injure myself or anything. It's just that this is a record of patheticness for me, if I do say so myself. Still so sore I can't walk like a normal human being five days after a training session?! Ridiculous. It only took me 48 hours to recover from running a marathon, for goodness sake! Not to mention the fact that this is really putting a damper on my domestic duties.

So, guru, what do I do? Besides popping Motrin like it's the candy I can no longer eat because all I eat now is protein. Do I stretch (which really hurts)? Do I take walks? Is there something wrong with me?

Oh, and speaking of protein? Colossus says to jumpstart Bridal Boot Camp I have to be eating 1g of protein per pound of body weight. Which I did a few days ago, and, well, all I ate that day was protein (eggs, meat, nuts, protein powder shakes). How can this be good for me?

Help me, wise Wendi!

xoxo
DG*

*Domestic Gimp, obv.

Domestics and Diapers

Jen,

How I long to be by Colossus's side, with a martini on one hand and a dominatrix's whip in the other, telling you to quit whining and squeeze your glutes a bit harder. Just keep in mind that the more you practice your frontal and dorsal kegel exercises, the better it'll be for your bod and The Lawyer's rod.

Who just said that?

Meanwhile, I left the Domestic Partner alone in our apartment in the Village to attend The Mermaid Parade, so that I could spend my weekend hiking with the family in Vermont. As a Health Consultant, of course it's absolutely imperative that I have flat abs that one can eat sushi off of 24/7. (Hello, didn't anyone see Samantha in Sex and the City: The Movie yet? How I long to be 50 and dating a 29 year old in real life.)

Anyway, you can check out some of the military hikes I took the fam out here: http://www.vtstateparks.com/htm/buttonbay.cfm
http://www.south-burlington.com/recdept/redrocks.htm. The first one, Button Bay, is where my friend got married when we were 19 and I played the piano in her wedding. It's so nice to have worked my way up to Mistress Minister from Stereotypical Asian Pianist.

Speaking of all things Asian, have you given more thought to who's going to be your photographer at the wedding? I'd give an 80% tip to anyone who can guarantee our all-around-hotness. Um, I meant, you and The Lawyer's all-around-hotness, not mine.

While you cry over strangers' wedding albums, I continue to build up what I hope will be a strong investment portfolio with one of my broker's. I thought of you, my darling DG, only because I bumped into a tres pregnant classmate of mine while in his office this morning. She was obsessing over not knowing yet how to put on a diaper, and I continued to cross and criss-cross my legs, hoping to not get pregnant from her overabundance of hormones. Yes, I'm still in my anti-kid phase. I do promise, however, to spoil rotten your triplets.

Love,

Auntie Wendi

Bridal Boot Camp Begins...

Dear Wendi,

Holy crap. I started Bridal Boot Camp yesterday, on what otherwise would have been a perfect Sunday. And by "perfect Sunday" - also known as "life before Boot Camp" - I mean this:

Sleep in.
Wake up refreshed and ready for a little romance (if you know what I mean).
Homemade brunch (using items purchased at the Notting Hill farmers' market the day before): blueberry pancakes, bacon, sausage, chocolate croissant, full-fat Greek yogurt with honey and granola, fresh-squeezed OJ.
Vegging and snuggling and possibly back to bed.

Instead, my Sunday consisted of this:

Wake up to alarm.
Tired and mildly cranky.
Workout nerves + fatigue = no, um, romance.
Pre-Boot Camp breakfast: one scrambled egg, three pieces of broccoli, small handful of almonds.
Ass handed to me by our new trainer, who will hence be known as Colossus.

I know it will all be worth it when I look hotter on my wedding day than I have ever looked in my life, but man. Life without carbs, chocolate, cheese, and - wait for it - ALCOHOL?! Just. Wrong.

Granted, we are only going carbless and boozeless for two weeks. Then we can slowly start adding these necessities back into our diet. And I must begrudgingly admit that since the BF and I started eating more protein and cut out the wine/beer/port/cider/champagne/Jaeger (kidding - I haven't been able to drink that since the Drunken Archaeologist Campsite Laundry Incident of 2000) a few days ago, I am feeling pretty good. Well, or, I was. Until this morning. Well, actually, until the middle of last night. When my soreness started waking me up every time I rolled over.

Today is not much of an improvement. I am already two Motrin in, with plenty more to go. I am hobbling around like I have a dumbbell up my tuchus, and my soreness almost - almost - kept me from my favorite sacred domestic ritual: my Monday morning date with Dyson.

TG I was able to rally.

Hoping you're sore this morning for a better reason than I (if you know what I mean)...

xoxo,
DG