Jen: Domestic Goddess or Domestic Bod-dess?

Sue,

So now that I am a lame-o graduate student, my twice-weekly workouts with Colossus have now been cut in half. Sadly, I will only see him on weekends now - the only thing that's (way) worse is only seeing The Lawyer on weekends too but DO NOT even get me started on that one.

Anyway, I am a little worried that graduate school will stifle my progress with my Colossal Butt-Kickings. But for now, at least, I am still Colossus' star pupil. In fact, in our last session, Colossus told me (seriously) that if I wanted to, I could be a professional bodybuilder. 

Ok now stop laughing.

"Google Jennifer Nicole Lee," he said. "If you put yourself to it, you could be like her."

So DomestiGal Jen Googled this Jennifer. And here is what I found.

Photo: http://hollywoodfitnessmodels.blogspot.com

Um, I'm sorry, WHAT?! Also: I promise she's a fitness guru, not a porn star.

Yes, this is the woman Colossus claims I can be:

Photo: http://www.healthylivingnyc.com

Hell YEAH!

Um, except I will never look like that. For the following reasons:

A) I'm a graduate student, so there is beer. 

B) Be it banned or not, I am a Nutellaholic and always will be.

C) I would rather have The Lawyer invest in my Ring of Dreams than a Rack of Dreams.

But obv I am totally flattered that Colossus sees such potential (even if he is in for ultimate disappointment). And this woman is actually fairly fabulous and underwent an A to the Mazing transformation to get to where she is. 

Here she is on Oprah - check out the "before" pics and the cute exercises she does with her kiddies:

Pretty rad, eh?

And I will totally be using those fitness moves when I have babies. Yipee! Babies!

Love,

Jennifer the Domestic Bod-dess

My Ancestral Awakening (Don't Tell Colossus!)

Fraulein Sue,

I have had an ancestral awakening. I have never been so proud of the fact that my last name ends in two - not one, but TWO - "n"'s. For real. I feel connected to my German heritage for the first time since being forced to act excited about it for "Ethnicity Day" in fourth grade.

Let me explain.

The BF and I needed to leave the country so I could come back in and validate my student visa. The perfect excuse for a Munich mini-break, no?

Mind you, I was not particularly interested in going to Germany. I had never been that enthused about my German roots. The language gets caught in your throat, the people seem a bit harsh and overly brawny, and the beer-guzzling is so not conducive to looking hot in a wedding dress. But seeing as we are only a two-hour jetlagless flight away from my ancestral home, there was really no excuse.

I have no idea where in Germany my family is actually from, but I have hereby embraced Munich as the land of my forefathers. What a great town! 

The glockenspiel! 

Underwhelming and overrated, yet nevertheless endearing!

The dirndls! 

I am set for slutty - I mean, traditional - Halloween costumes for life!

The weisswursts! 

I was in hog heaven (literally). 

Also? My new obsession now that the Olympics are over: Hofbrauhaus. Beers and pretzels as big as your head. Definitely not Colossus-sanctioned but a to the mazing. Not to mention the effortlessly fabulosity-oozing locals:

I am desperately hoping this man is my long-lost great-uncle.

My new affinity for my native culture does not mean we will be giving away beer steins as wedding favors, nor will the dress code be changed to "Lederhosen Chic." But still. I am thrilled to have discovered that I do feel connected to my beer-guzzling, big-boned ethnic roots after all.

Auf Wiedersehen,

Fraulein Jen