LOW-Carb, Thank You Very Much!

Dearest DomestiGal Sue,

Well, between the new season of Gossip Girl (Missing another episode tonight! The horror, the horror!), the broadcast of Stand Up to Cancer, and Britney's triumphant return to hotness last night on the VMAs, I am really going through some mayjah USofA withdrawal. Sigh.

But we have a lot to cover here. I'll get right to it and try to stay focused:

1. My bum. Tighter and tighter every day, baby.

2. My vitamins. Colossus currently has me on a regimen of vitamins, supplements, and protein shakes... a little intense, but I am seeing results (bye bye 10% of my love-handles in one week!) so I can't complain. I am currently taking multi-vitamins; a capsule that contains fenugreek, bitter gourd, and gymnema leaf (yeah, I didn't know what they were either); and my personal savior, fish oil. 

Seriously Sue? Can we have a moment for the wonders of fish oil? You're the one who first turned me onto it, if you recall. Amazing stuff. Deserves its own "DomestiGals Heart..." post, methinks!

3. My diet. Is LOW-carb, not no-carb. Low-carb, high-protein, Nutella-free. That's me! So torture me all you want with descriptions of your decadent NYC meals, missy. I'm gonna go have me some sushi WITH rice! Aw yeah! How do you like THAT?

(Really how depressing is it that when The Lawyer and I go out for sushi it's a treat to eat the rice. A twee pathetic, eh?)

As for your latest jewelry ideas, I must say I was disappointed to see a total lack of sparkle (were you scared by my last reaction? Probably.) but those are lovely designs. Waaaaay too alterna-bride for me, but you could pull them off quite well.

So? Does this mean you have relented? Has The Doctor won? Are you going to get and - gasp! - actually wear a ring???

Do tell!

xoxo,

DG

Food Glorious Food

Dearest DP,

My fabulous tan and I are back from Italy and we would just like to say: Have a baby! Have two! Hooray babies! I am soooo psyched that your biological clock has kicked back into gear. Hallelujah!

Now, back to me and my pre-engagement wedding planning. I promise no more talk of diamonds for the moment. In fact you will be thrilled to find out what I am writing to discuss today, as it is your number one favorite thing in the world (ok, maybe one and a half, just a smidge after sex in your book): FOOD!

I told you how I started looking at wedding catering sites, right? Well I basically chose two – the two with the best websites, both of which come highly recommended by the event planner at the Locale of Dreams – and have begun courting them. Which is weird for me. I am just not good in situations like this because I want to be friends with (or at least hire) everyone! I want everyone to get our business! Really, The Lawyer would be much better at this part of the wedding planning, but I am trying my best.

So anyway: wedding caterer wooing. I haven’t felt wanted this bad since – well, you can imagine. It’s fab! Basically I just emailed these two companies, telling them which foods the BF and I like and dislike, and what we envision for our menu. And then these geniuses turn our simplistic ideas (fish ‘n chips) into culinary masterpieces (scottish smoked salmon on a crisp potato gaufrette with dill sour cream, caper, and red onion compote)!

Granted, these catering proposals are not helping me stay enthusiastic about the Colossus-designed diet of protein, protein, and more protein; and these fabulous-sounding food items are all on paper and not splayed before me in a sumptuous feast; but I still feel rather regal being on the receiving end of these heavenly menus.

Will keep you posted as the proposals progress… obv.

Yum,
DG

Protein and Poop

DG,

I can't wait to hear about your future bowel movements (or lack thereof), with all the protein you'll be eating! Have you ever noticed how you get constipated from eating too much sushi or sashimi? If not, you'll soon discover the wonders of being all stuffed up from too much sausage. Sadly, I'm not talking about The Lawyer's.

Just remember the following before you workout: keep carbohydrates to zilch up to 2 hours before you workout. If you eat carbs (and this includes the good carbs, like apples, my friend), it signals the pancreas to secrete insulin. This is all fine and normal, but when there's insulin in your system, you can't burn fat. And, while I know you want to be shaking that fine bum for Colossus, it's imperative you burn the bubble butt your entire workout! I always work my glutes from all different directions every time I workout -- it's the largest muscle in the bod, so it'll help rev up the metabolism quickest. Plus, it just makes it so much more spankable for other activities.

In terms of how terrible you feel during your workouts, this'll all subside. When I started strength training, I wanted to knock myself out. There were times I was convinced I was going to crap my pants if I did another leg press. But now I can press 600 pounds and discuss whether we should raise interest rates to help the US Dollar with no problems whatsoever! Speaking of leg pressing, the other day I watched this woman do the leg press with her poodle on her lap and her trainer by her side. Ah, New York.

Keep pushin' on the pot and on the weight, DG!

Love,

She-Ra