Domestics and Diapers

Jen,

How I long to be by Colossus's side, with a martini on one hand and a dominatrix's whip in the other, telling you to quit whining and squeeze your glutes a bit harder. Just keep in mind that the more you practice your frontal and dorsal kegel exercises, the better it'll be for your bod and The Lawyer's rod.

Who just said that?

Meanwhile, I left the Domestic Partner alone in our apartment in the Village to attend The Mermaid Parade, so that I could spend my weekend hiking with the family in Vermont. As a Health Consultant, of course it's absolutely imperative that I have flat abs that one can eat sushi off of 24/7. (Hello, didn't anyone see Samantha in Sex and the City: The Movie yet? How I long to be 50 and dating a 29 year old in real life.)

Anyway, you can check out some of the military hikes I took the fam out here: http://www.vtstateparks.com/htm/buttonbay.cfm
http://www.south-burlington.com/recdept/redrocks.htm. The first one, Button Bay, is where my friend got married when we were 19 and I played the piano in her wedding. It's so nice to have worked my way up to Mistress Minister from Stereotypical Asian Pianist.

Speaking of all things Asian, have you given more thought to who's going to be your photographer at the wedding? I'd give an 80% tip to anyone who can guarantee our all-around-hotness. Um, I meant, you and The Lawyer's all-around-hotness, not mine.

While you cry over strangers' wedding albums, I continue to build up what I hope will be a strong investment portfolio with one of my broker's. I thought of you, my darling DG, only because I bumped into a tres pregnant classmate of mine while in his office this morning. She was obsessing over not knowing yet how to put on a diaper, and I continued to cross and criss-cross my legs, hoping to not get pregnant from her overabundance of hormones. Yes, I'm still in my anti-kid phase. I do promise, however, to spoil rotten your triplets.

Love,

Auntie Wendi