Wedding Day Channel Bliss...

Seriously?

No, seriously DomestiGal Jen? You put your finger ON THE REMOTE when The Lawyer walked in? Uh-huh.

By the way, did you purchase a vibrator yet? If so, please let me know ASAP which one you bought! I can't wait to hear how it goes with you and The Lawyer.

Or are you waiting to save the toys until the honeymoon?

Onto the topic at hand... I, too, love watching wedding shows. I know, I hope you didn't just poop in your pants with shock. Admittedly, I haven't watched any of these shows in the last 5 years, but back when I had a TV, I would watch TLC's The Wedding Story. I may or may not have cried hysterically every time the bride walked down the aisle and saw her husband-to-be for the first time.

Jen -- how am I ever going to preside over your wedding ceremony without crying? Oh, by the way, when you finally get engaged, are you going to put a picture of me as your yenta on your Knot wedding site as the reason you met? If so, I'd like to know two weeks in advance so that I can schedule a facial. Thanks.

Vainly yours,

Sobbing Sue

My Lost Televirginity

Nosy Sue INDEED,

Really? Could you not have left the vibe talk offline? (Rhetorical question, I know.)

And you are probably trying to scandalize me by pulling the one-two punch of vibrators and re-virginization in the same post, but I shall not be overcome by my blushing cheeks! Instead I will simply answer your question: no.

I'm actually glad you mentioned virginity because it reminded me that I actually have a confession. The Lawyer walked in on me doing something very naughty yesterday. I had been resisting this ultimate temptation for months, but yesterday I finally caved. What caused my weakness? Was it Phelps torso withdrawal? Or Hofbrauhaus-related alcohol and carb detox? Alas, I cannot put a finger on it - but I did put my finger on something else.

The remote control.

Sue, I must confess I have lost my virginity. My Wedding TV cherry has been popped.

Ack! And then The Lawyer walked in on me! He came home just as I was finishing the second of two back-to-back episodes of my new favorite show (since all my real faves don't air here, which is a tragedy to discuss another day), "Real Weddings from The Knot." I was just about to see how the Andersons pulled off a backyard wedding for EIGHT HUNDRED people! Alas, The Lawyer caught me red (and ringless) handed.

I also became acquainted with the Bumsteads who, frankly, put re-virgins to shame. They were virgins when they got married! Yikesaroo! Though I must admit even though that idea has given me the heebie-jeebies in the past, there was something rather endearing about these two. And I'm sure it had nothing to do with their last name.

And now I just scandalized myself a little.

OK, Domestic Goddess signing off.

xoxo

Oh, and P.S. How excited are we about BlogDay?! What a great way to spread good blogging karma throughout the interwebs!

Why Isn't This More Fun?

Ah Wendi,

I love how your keen sense of ladylike decorum comes through in your writing. I will never think of my protein shakes the same way again.

Hope you had a good weekend though. I miraculously survived another training session with Colossus and am anticipating another successful cleaning date with my beloved Dyson this morning.

But, alas, I'm feeling a little down. About this wedding planning stuff.

You know, before I met The Lawyer, I never allowed myself to visit TheKnot.com. Well, ok, fine. I might have typed the address into my web browser a few or dozen or so times, out of sheer boredom and desperation and inability to think of anywhere else to surf. But I never allowed myself to set up a profile.

I just knew it would be worth the wait. The BF would propose, I'd have my Ring of Dreams on my finger, and the sun would be shining and angels singing on the day I opened my laptop and logged into The Knot as a bride-to-be.

Things didn't exactly turn out that way, not that I mind. In fact I kind of love that the BF and I are doing things a bit inversely, booking our dream location before actually getting engaged (not that the event manager knows - sshhh!). Plus, it makes sense for me, since I will be starting my MBA in September. Best to get this stuff done now, as a Lady of Leisure, before I become a Student of Stress. I feel secure and happy and excited to get engaged and I think our family and friends will get a kick out of the fact that we booked everything before our actual engagement. I mean it's cute, right?

Me to family member/friend: "Guess what? I'm ENGAGED!"

FM/F: "That's great! I am so happy for you! Have you thought about a date?"

Me: "Yup! And a time, and a location. Invitations forthcoming. And there will be fabulous mini grilled cheese sandwiches passed during the 4:30-5:30 cocktail hour."

I mean, that's cute, right?

So why isn't this more fun?

We booked our date a couple weeks ago, and I had the green light to start planning, so off I went… and then I stalled. It wasn't until recently that I was able to sit myself back down to look at some caterer's websites. We also received our lengthy contracts in the mail, but signing them (and the deposit check to go along with them) was more painful than joyful.

Don't get me wrong. I was listening when EVERY bride EVER declared that planning a wedding is stressful. But this is, like, one of the only things on my docket right now. I could browse wedding sites all day, every day, la dee da, without a care in the world save for my aching legs courtesy of Colossus. And I am determined to have fun with it, dammit! Who cares if I don't have my Ring of Dreams tossing glorious rays of light around my kitchen as I type? Who cares if I am completely financially dependent on my fian - excuse me, boyfriend - right now and thus feel twice the pressure of a lack of liquid funds with which to consider satin linens over polyester and butternut squash soup served in a wee carved out pumpkin over a plain old bowl?

Oh - I care. Crap.

Wah...
DG

All Choked Up and Nowhere to Go

Wendi!

Ok, first of all? I cannot believe I was not invited to your Domestic Partnership ceremony at the local post office. I mean granted I am like thousands of miles away, but still. This is momentous! And even though you probaby just wore your typical DP uniform of tank top, brown pants, and brown boots, please tell me you at least made the effort to wear your water bra. Until I hear confirmation of this, I will choose to believe it was so.

As you know, Minister, I have commenced my wedding planning with ringless elation. I am trying to take it slow, as we still have over a year before the big day, and I want to savor each and every bullet point and tickbox on TheKnot.com's wedding planning calendar and interactive checklist. But I have a confession. And now that you're going to be our minister, you will hear my confession, right?

I just spent about an hour poring over four - count 'em - four online wedding-related photo albums for a couple I don't even know. A cute young couple from Illinois. The bride went to high school with my cousin/maid-of-honor-to-be, and so my cuz forwarded me the link in case I'd be inspired by their tasteful fall nuptials. I started with the wedding album, since it was the only one that was relevant to me. But it sucked me in. Easily. So I went back and watched all four of the albums in order, witnessing their photographic journey from engagement to wedding to reception to honeymoon. Although I felt like a bit of a voyeur during the honeymoon slideshow, so I washed the dishes. But I still let it play. And I still got choked up. Choked up looking at photos of a relationship and wedding of people I don't even know! Is that weird?

I have realized, and come to accept, that the closer I get to realizing my lifelong dream of being a bride, the more emotional I get about weddings. Real weddings, TV weddings, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." I watched that one for the umpteenth time a couple weeks ago - even before the BF and I had set the date - and while I always used to choke up when the parents give that cute Nia Vardalos and Aidan (I'm sorry, but he will always be Aidan to me) a house, the other day? Tears. Streaming down my face.

And just yesterday I watched a video news clip of two lesbians, aged 84 and 87, who'd been together for 55 years, tie the knot (legally! yay!) in San Fransisco. They were totally composed and adorable. I was crying like a baby.

So there. I said it. I have become a voyeuristic crybaby wedding nut. Let's move on.

xoxo,
DG