Money and Wedding Etiquette Part II

S-F Sue,

Just writing to hear how your cleanse went - um, NO. Do NOT need to hear about your bowel movements. But, uh, thanks for the offer.

So, a few posts back, you mentioned your friend who wants dough for her wedding.

If I couldn't be there for you, I'm glad our DomestiGals in the blogosphere stepped up to the plate with their advice and anecdotes. My favorite morsel of hilarity comes from Michelle Woo (who happens to have a fabulous blog), who said that a friend sent a message that read, "wallet-$ized gift$, plea$e." OMG! It's almost too tacky to be true!

As for The Lawyer and I, we are thinking that instead of registering for stuff or asking for moolah, we would like to ask our invitees to make donations to one (or both) of two charitable funds. We each picked one, and both funds honor our dearest deceased family members, so I think it will be a really nice tribute - not to mention the dough that will be raised for very good causes.

DP, you'll be officiating at these nuptials. What do you think?

Gals in the blogosphere, have any of you done this or attended weddings of those who have?

Not that any of you can tell me it's a crap idea. Because obv it's thoughtful and whatnot. I guess what I really want to know is, am I a terrible person for also kind of wanting a KitchenAid mixer and some new sheets? And how do I reconcile the charity vs. KitchenAid conflict stirring in my soul?

xoxo

DG

Money and Wedding Etiquette

Dearest Jen,

You were *much* needed here in the Big Apple the other day. My friend, Dana, and I were completely lost without you. Dana has been with her boyfriend for about eight years, and the other day they decided to get engaged -- just because.

Actually, she forgot to tell me she was engaged for about 2 weeks. You see, I’d like to take a DomestiGal moment to explain that Dana – like me – is not a blushing-bride-in-waiting. She’s a little more “traditional” than me, I suppose, because she’s actually going to have a wedding. But, in the end, she didn’t really care about transitioning from her Domestic Partnership status to Wedded Bliss.

Which brings me to my question.

This question has to deal with wedding etiquette. You see, she doesn’t want to have a bridal registry and get a bunch of useless Tupperware and china dishes that she’ll only end up breaking or selling on eBay. Instead, she wants hard cold cash.

However.

Clearly it’s tres rude to just say, “Give me cash, not cheesy gifts” on your wedding card invitation. But how should one go about doing this?

One of her friends told her that she should just register on The Knot, get all the gifts, and then exchange them for cash. But then she has just made all her friends pay for shipping, and it seems just as mean-spirited to do such a thing.

Thoughts out there in DomestiGal land?

How have the rest of you dealt with this not-quite-as-delicate-as-your-cooch issue?

Love,

Domestic Partner Sue