Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Money and Wedding Etiquette Part II

S-F Sue,

Just writing to hear how your cleanse went - um, NO. Do NOT need to hear about your bowel movements. But, uh, thanks for the offer.

So, a few posts back, you mentioned your friend who wants dough for her wedding.

If I couldn't be there for you, I'm glad our DomestiGals in the blogosphere stepped up to the plate with their advice and anecdotes. My favorite morsel of hilarity comes from Michelle Woo (who happens to have a fabulous blog), who said that a friend sent a message that read, "wallet-$ized gift$, plea$e." OMG! It's almost too tacky to be true!

As for The Lawyer and I, we are thinking that instead of registering for stuff or asking for moolah, we would like to ask our invitees to make donations to one (or both) of two charitable funds. We each picked one, and both funds honor our dearest deceased family members, so I think it will be a really nice tribute - not to mention the dough that will be raised for very good causes.

DP, you'll be officiating at these nuptials. What do you think?

Gals in the blogosphere, have any of you done this or attended weddings of those who have?

Not that any of you can tell me it's a crap idea. Because obv it's thoughtful and whatnot. I guess what I really want to know is, am I a terrible person for also kind of wanting a KitchenAid mixer and some new sheets? And how do I reconcile the charity vs. KitchenAid conflict stirring in my soul?



Renee said...

I'm really appreciating these wedding planning posts! I'll be getting hitched in the next year or so (no date yet) therefore I'm finding them really inciteful! I totally understand where you're coming from with the desire for a KitchenAid (I LOVE mine) whilst wanting to donate to charity. Even though I think the charity will make you two feel philanthropic, some of your closest family members may be looking forward to buying a tangible gift. Maybe give the option of donating to charity OR choosing something from your registry (because one of the best parts about getting married is choosing a registry!) and make it clear that you don't want anyone to do BOTH.

How's that for a run-on sentence? Did I make any sense at all? Anyways, that's just my little opinion...

Kyla Bea said...

In our part of the world (I think this is a Canadian Prairie thing?) it's common to register, but also to put a basket or box by your guest book at the reception where people can "make presentation", or put some money in an envelope and toss it in for the new couple instead of their gift.

It's something that's just expected where we live, so we're doing it but we're definitely letting people have the option of buying from our registry if that's their preference.

michellewoo said...

Thanks for the shout-out. Even though my boyfriend would hate me for saying this, I love wedding planning posts too =)
I wrote something on charitable weddings a while back:
I liked the idea of making a donation in guests' names instead of favors.

DomestiGals said...

Thanks for these great comments, gals! Rest assured I (Jen) will keep posting about my wedding... there is still lots to plan- plenty of procrastinatory material for my MBA course... :-)