Saturday, August 2, 2008

Bridezilla in Waiting?


I laughed hilariously over the fact that you took a picture of all the bridal magazines you bought. I laughed, but then I stopped a few seconds later with a thought that left me in horror.

Are you a bridezilla-in-waiting?

I know I agreed to be your Naughty Pastor who presides over the ceremony, but am I going to come out of the wedding rehearsal with a black eye and a broken arm? I mean, it's okay if I am, I just want to be prepared.

Thankfully, none of my friends have traditional weddings (or get married), so I've never been privy to this sort of person. I'm wondering if you'll be my first.

Here are a list of my concerns and grievances:
  1. You already have a psychotic (but hot) trainer, Colossus, over a year before you get engaged.
  2. You've been emailing me every 5 minutes about how much protein you should/should not be eating.
  3. Your wedding location place is booked.
  4. Um, am I playing the piano at your wedding and saying "You may now kiss the hopefully-back-to-normal bride"?
  5. You've been swimming in all your bridal magazine cutouts and pasting them all over your room so now The Lawyer has no place to sleep next to you. (Okay, this may not be true, but this is what I envision).

Just for clarity to all our new friends out in google-andia, you are not -- I repeat -- not yet engaged. Right?

What's going to happen when you officially get engaged?

I think I'm going to check out and see if they have a support center for Nervous Nellies like me. I'm worried that I'm going to open up a package from you in the near future, and it's going to be a Nutella bomb from all the chocolate you haven't been allowing yourself to eat over there in London.

Let it be known right now, I hope we're still friends a year from now.

For now, I'm happy with my domestic partnership over here in Manhattan. After all, if my ass has an extra jiggle in it from eating the full box of Annie's mac 'n cheese, it only gets The Doctor more excited.




Veronica said...

Oh my! I love, LOVE what you ladies are doing here! FUNNY STUFF! Looking forward to more posts!

ami @ elizabeth anne designs said...

omg - found you on veronica's blog and you two are so funny! added you to my reader and can't wait to see more. :)

Aricka said...

I had to leave a comment on this with my wedding purchased, packed, shipped and ready to be set up 5 months before the "date". I do have a life other than my wedding and if you plan early you have PLENTY of time to live it once all the details are done. You are not a zilla because I'm not, at least I hope i'm not. ;)