Non-DomestiGal Duties

Jen dear,

A belated Happy Birthday to you from the rest of the DomestiGal community! What did you do on your blessed day aside from study your heart out? Did you do some super nerdy statistics calculation of your various diamond-engagement-ring-of-dreams pricing and actual diamond composition using Linear Regression?

I mean, I do hope you took the following into account:

• the interpretation of the slope as the average imputed value per carat of diamonds within the specific range;
• the viability of the SLR model as determined by the R² value and the slope coefficient;
  
• the regression fit for determining the price of diamond rings within this range.

Sigh.

Asian DomestiGals and their damn math.

Anyway, perhaps you can do more fun statistical models that include your Dyson and the percentage body fat that Colossus pinches every single time he humiliates the fat around your knee.

By the way, now that you're not in London and doing your dutiful Lady of Leisure duties you so enjoy -- who is? Is The Lawyer vacuuming and cleaning and washing?

The Doctor recently bought a Dirt Devil and I must say that it has become one of his best friends. Of course I'm not even quite sure how it works, as I'm Dish Woman and only handle items on kitchen counters. Recently, though, The Doctor has been flexing his green thumb and has added a collection of three more plants to our indoor urban garden. I think it's all in preparation for our beehive and I'm excitedly preparing our Bee Blog.

Stay tuned, ladies!

xx,
s.

Ex-Homemaker Seeks Solace

Hello Sue!

So I am horrified to report that I will be slaving away to complete - and possibly, very possibly, even pass - a business statistics exam today. How heinous is that? Makes me long for my Domestic Goddess days more than ever...

Speaking of which, check out the fab tea towel I spotted this past weekend at this A to the Dorable store in London called Emma Bridgewater:

Do you love it or do you LOVE it?

But I didn't buy it. I just stared longingly and snapped that quick pic with my iPhone. 

Sigh.

Is it pathetic that I miss homemaking? I mean, here I am in this worldly MBA program, surrounded by some of the brightest people I have ever encountered, and I am missing doing the dishes, doing the laundry. Not to mention my Dyson! 

Sigh.

I suppose that I long for those simpler days because MBAland could not be located at more of an opposite pole than Domestic Goddessville. And that's okay. I am a career woman, after all. (If by "career woman" I mean "wanting to make as much money as quickly as possible so I can support The Lawyer in his early retirement and raise our family and learn to make pottery and live happily ever after, Dysoning to my heart's content.") I may not rock this exam today - especially since yesterday was my birthday and really? Who studies stats on her birthday? - but I will rock this program in my own way, just as I rocked my Domestic Goddess days.

So Sue, and gals out there, please hand-wash a mug for me today. Do a load of delicates, hang them on the clothesline, and know that I would be by your side handing you your undies in a heartbeat.

With love and a brainful of statistical mush,

Jen

Home Sweet Dorm Room

Greetings, dearest Sue, from my new home!

Ah yes. Dorm Sweet Dorm.

I have now been in my new dorm room for a week, and fortunately my domestic goddessness has inspired me to make it as homey as I possibly can, considering the stained carpet, mildewy bathroom, and very white walls that we are, alas, not allowed to decorate (though I think I could get away with those cute vinyl wall decals everyone has these days - Gals in the blogosphere, any suggestions?).

So, wanna see where I live? (You know you do.) Here I am:

No, not in the church. That's the belltower that wakes me up every morning. The chalet-looking structure beneath it is my dorm. Picturesque, eh?

So, you know, it's fine. I mean, being away from The Lawyer absolutely completely totally sucks. But at the same time I know this is an important year for me, and I am determined to get as much as I can out of this program and out of my life here.

The Lawyer, for his part, has been A to the Mazing throughout all of this. He gave me a bunch of dormwarming presents, including some college paraphernalia (you know I heart paraphernalia); bridal mags for bedside reading (YES! He went out and bought me bridal mags! That is right up there with buying tampons! I am a lucky girl.); two beautiful orchids - my fave flower; and some champagne. But! The best, most amazing gift he got me is... well, see for yourself:

Aw yeah dawg! That there is a hand-held DYSON, baby! I mean does The Lawyer know me or what?

Now that I have a Dyson, this place truly feels like home.

(Just don't get me started on how gross it is sharing a kitchen with grad students...)

Ew.

LOVE!

DomestiGrad Jen

DomestiGals and Body Fat

Oops. First of all, when I wrote the subject title I had, "DomestiGals and Body Fart."

Not exactly what our community would really want to hear, I'm sure. That said, I know you're all just dying to hear about our body fat percentages!

Which brings me to my big question for Jen: Now that you're nerding-away in MBA la-la land, is your butt getting bigger?

I mean, I know anytime I've been in school, my butt has definitely expanded.

Jen, are you still going to be seeing Colossus? Tell me more about Bridal Boot Camp rather than Math Boot Camp! Will he still be threatening to take your body fat percentage by pinching the fat AROUND YOUR KNEE? (Isn't he aware that your wedding-dress-of-dreams won't be showing your knees?)


Photo via NYMag.

I have a feeling Colossus thinks your wedding-dress-of-dreams is supposed to look like this:


Photo Courtesy: www.herhighnessness.com

BTW, this seems insane, no? I remember getting body fat percentages done in my high school health class, and my 99 year old teacher squeezing my triceps while encouraging us to draw pictures of testicles. (I'm not joking, we had to draw pictures of testicles. I was so embarrassed, as I had never seen real, live testicles before! But that's another story...)

Back in high school, my body fat percentage was around 24%, which is insane, since I was in a ballet company. I think it was just because we weren't doing any strength training. Now that I've got my butt-busting-DomestiGal workout to adhere to, my doctor told me last year I'm down to 17%. I'd applaud, except I watched some cheerleader MTV special the other day (reason #10 why I don't have a TV) where all these girls were getting screamed at for having body fat measurements of 13%.

Obviously I watched this episode with an overflowing bowl of buttered popcorn and beer.

Anyway, for some reason I feel like knee-fat-squeezing borders on being inhumane. Aside from all this, I'm just mad at Colossus for making me even more neurotic and checking every-other-glass-of-wine to see if the fat around my hefty-Asian-cankles has since expanded.

Solemnly,

DomestiGal Sue

Bridal Boot Camp Versus Math Boot Camp

To Sue and all my spoonin' ladies,

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! How inconsiderate of all of you to be discussing sleeping positions just when I am having to learn to sleep alone for half the week when I'm up here at school. WAH!!! Boo. Hiss.

Ok, now that I got my whining out of the way, I will say that my non-solo sleeping time usually consists of cuddling before falling asleep, and then cuddling (usually spooning, but there are a few variations) again upon stirring in the morning before the alarm goes off. Which is so lovely. Sigh.

And now I'm sad again. Boo!

But I promise not to spend the next year of my life blogging about how tres trag it is to be apart from The Lawyer. Especially when every other aspect of grad school, thus far, is great! I am having a blast, even if all the schmoozing and boozing has been beyond exhausting.

What have I been up to, you might ask? Well, these first two weeks are basically like our orientation. There have been introductory sessions covering everything from using our new email addresses to library services to careers to the alumni network. Thrilling stuff, right? Yeah, maybe not to y'all.

But what has been thrilling is Math Boot Camp! Since I hadn't done math in about a decade and had never used Excel to do anything beyond tracking wedding expenses, I signed up for all the sessions. And let me tell you, they're a blast! I never knew Excel was such a genius of a program! Sums and formulas and functions and data and charts and...

Uy. Do I sound convinced yet? Because I am trying to convince myself that attending Math Boot Camp is just as cool as Bridal Boot Camp... and yet, alas, no. Because really? When will I ever need to use Excel to do anything but track our wedding budget? Sigh. What I would give to be getting my butt kicked by Colossus rather than creating a scatter graph from a data table.

I miss my Domestic Goddessness. Just hoping the Domestic Boddess doesn't start to fade away as well... MUST. BE. A. HOT. BRIDE!

Off to Math Boot Camp,
sigh,

Jen

DomestiGrad Student Jen Starts School

First things first. Gals, thank you for your feedback regarding my first day of school outfit!

The winning outfit is...

Look out Blair Waldorf, Queen J is in town!

Thanks to you, I will be feeling fierce and fabulous as I enter these doors... 

... of my new business school this morning.

(Yeah, don't even get me started on the wacko color scheme.)

Ack! I'm so nervous! But I know this will be a great step for me, even if it means adding "DomestiGrad Student" to my title. Sigh. Move on over, Domestic Goddess. There's a new nerd in town.

Now that I'm abandoning my Domestic Goddessness! Nope! I cherish my Dyson too much to consider myself anything less than a DomestiGrad-Goddess hybrid. But I will miss my leisurely days of Domestic Goddessness. They already feel very far away.

What will I miss most? Thank you for asking, ladies. Let me list the ways...

1. Rotating among my warm-ups, pjs, sweats, and workout clothes. While I am ready to dress a little more formally, I will sorely miss oozing fabulosity in my Lululemon ensembles all day long.

2. Twice-weekly workouts with Colossus. More on this soon (see my post-script below)... but I will now only be seeing Colossus once a week. My butt might be grateful, but the rest of me aches with sadness (and lack of soreness).

3. Leisurely, wine-filled lunches with my newly engaged fellow lady of leisure. These lunches were my biggest indulgence these past months... and were totally, completely fabulous. I will miss them dearly. Not that I won't be drinking in the middle of the day during my MBA. But it just won't be the same.

4. Awaiting The Lawyer's return from work every night. I know this is super-cheesy and rather un-feminist of me, but the best part of each Domestic Goddess day was the return of The Lawyer from work. After all this time, and all we've been through, the sound of his key in the door still gives me butterflies.

5. Keeping up with all my Gals in the blogosphere. Rest assured, ladies, I will continue to post here all the time. And I will keep up with your blogs as best I can. There are so many amazing writers out there, and blogs chock full of inspiration for my wedding and my life - I will miss checking in every day. But I will still be around! I promise!

Ok, off to school I go. Holy crap.

BIG BIG BIG love,

DomestiGrad Jen

P.S. As mentioned above I had an AMAZING last pre-MBA workout with Colossus the other day. Will be posting about it soon. Stay tuned... you do NOT want to miss this post, trust me!

Jen's First Day: Pick Her Outfit! Please!

Ok ladies. I am sending my DomestiGal beacon out into the sky (I imagine this to be like Batman's bat signal, only in the shape of a huge diamond engagement ring. Obv.).

I need your help!

I started packing for school yesterday (SAD! I KNOW! ACK!) and I am at a total loss. I cannot figure out what to wear for my first day. THE most important day. I will be meeting all my new classmates and professors, and we are having our class portrait taken (which I really think is cruel to do on the very first day, but I digress). So last night The Lawyer and I had a photo session with the four finalist outfits, and I present them here.

Please please please help me choose! Based on your votes, I will let you know the winning outfit on Monday!

Without further ado, here they are (and yes, this is really me, standing in our "Grecian Spa"-colored bedroom, with my new uni's coat of arms hanging on my closet door - I feel so exposed! But I am also thrilled with how adept I am becoming with Microsoft Paint.):

OUTFIT #1: The black pinstripe power suit with red lining (a good Feng Shui color, Sue!). 

I know it's hard to see due to my ailing 5-year-old camera, but please note the patent leather heels. They may get me to wear a suit for the first time in 8 months, but I shall not abandon the fabulous!

OUTFIT #2: The understated but cute brown suit with dark purple shell.

Again, hard to see here and not quite as fab as the suit above but comfy and reliable. And it fits me way better since I've been working out with Colossus!

OUTFIT #3: The simple black dress with my Blair Waldorf jacket.

Seriously, doesn't that jacket look like something Blair would wear? It's preptastic! Also note the pointy-toe power pumps.

OUTFIT #4: The pseudo-wrap brown dress.

This dress has been a professional go-to for a few years. I'd spruce it up with accessories. Obv.

Ok, ladies! Leave your votes in the comments section!

And thank you for your fabulous guidance.

Big love,

DomestiGal Jen

Calling all DomestiGals! Help, help!

As DomestiGal Jen packs her bags and prepares to lead the life of a Serious Student rather than a Domestic Goddess for a year, Sue is truly panicking!

Thus -- thus! We're in *earnest* need of your help!

As you know, Sue is at a complete loss when it comes to All Things Classy and All Things Wedding Related. Jen will continue to post - she does have a wedding to plan, after all! - but we could use a few extra hands here in DomestiGal land!

Does anyone out there want to serve as an occasional DomestiGal Writer to help ensure that Jen gets A+s in all her MBA classes?

(Frankly, Sue would prefer that Jen spend her time smooching The Lawyer with whom she set her up, but, alas, it cannot be.)

If you'd like to recommend another Blissful Blogger -- or -- if YOU want to do an occasional post for us, please contact us at domestigals{at}gmail{dot}com! If you're Enthusiastically Engaged, Pleasantly Pregnant, Snazzily Single or any other type of DomestiGal, feel free to apply.

We look forward to hearing from you!

Already Lonely... :(
DomestiGal Sue

... and Going Through Mayjah DGal Withdrawal Already,

DomestiGal Jen

Wedding Fabulosity Fest!

So Sue.

Yesterday I had to email this huge pile o' career crap to the MBA career services office at my school-to-be. Really? This stuff took ages to complete, was a huge pain in the tuchus, and had me alternating between IMing with The Lawyer and Skyping with my mom in fits of insecurity. Being the token American Non-Profit Gal, fabulous as I am, is not going to be easy in a program full of finance whizzes and accounting nerds. Sheesh.

Also? I really really really wanted to include "planning Wedding of Dreams" under "Interests" on my newly revamped CV. I mean, they should want to know the real me, right?

Sigh. 

Sadly, I couldn't even treat myself to a celebratory drink after I finished it all, because Colossus has started keeping tabs on my alcohol intake by measuring the skin fold (read: pinching the fat) on the front of my kneecap. FOR REAL.

So I decided to treat myself to this post instead. Thus, before embarking upon my Econ pre-reading (gag), I hereby announce the Inaugural Wedding Fabulosity Fest!

I have found some of the cutest things while procrastin- um, I mean, bridal-blog-browsing. While I have come to terms with the fact that I am not going to be pulling off a Martha Stewart Wedding, I do appreciate craftiness and hope to incorporate some cute, personal details at our nuptials. But for every idea that might work at our wedding, I find a zillion cute ones that, for whatever reason, won't.

So without further ado, here are some of the most fabulous things I've come across that I won't be using but nevertheless heart in a mayjah way...

Jim and Pam stationery suite from The Future Mrs. Darcy. 

Found these thanks to the ad on snippet & ink. To be honest, it was my love for Colin Firth (the best Darcy in the history of Darcys, now and forevermore) that made me click the ad, and boy was I glad I did!

Now, I may be biased because I went to college with the adorable John Krasinski, but I think this set is so creative! Note that the "Inter-Departmental Delivery" is an area to include personal family or romantic anecdotal details. Love! Her other collections - cleverly named for other beloved fictional couples - are quite sweet too.

Photo booth Save-the-Dates as seen on Offbeat Bride.

Frankly, the site as a whole is really more your style than mine, Sue. But Ariel (the original Offbeat Bride) has got moxie and DomestiGals do nothing if not respect moxie!

I think this is SUCH a great idea for save-the-date cards. The Lawyer is a little more traditional when it comes to stationery, but Gals, if your man will go for this there is mayjah cuteness potential! And if you, like me, are no Martha, Ariel has recently posted a How-To video, so you're all set.

Ring pillows from Bklyn Pillow

I may be new to the bridal blogosphere, but it didn't take me long to learn that Brooklyn Bride rules the roost. She is a mayjah celeb in the bridal blog world. And for good reason! She is super talented, has fabulous taste, and Bride can sew!

Like, seriously.

Compass place cards from LHCalligraphy

Found these on Etsy, a SUPREMELY ADDICTIVE but fantastic site chock full of handmade wonderfulness. These place cards are over our budget, unfortunately, but I think they are amazing - especially for a travel theme or destination wedding.

Just look at the close-up!

Lovely.

And... I'm cutting myself off now. But! I will keep posting regularly as I discover more morsels of wedding fabulosity. If I can't use them myself, at least I can sing their praises in DomestiGal Land!

xoxo,

Domestic-Goddess-Indeed-But-No-Martha-Stewart Jen

Liar's Poker = Gossipfest. Woohoo!

Sue! Guess what!

I just finished my first pre-MBA reading assignment. Good for me!

Indeed, Liar's Poker was the perfect way for me to break into my MBA prep (because, apparently, this degree program is actually happening). Basically it's a non-fiction book about Wall Street in the 80s. Totally gossip-tastic!

Check it out:

And even better? The author, Michael Lewis, is married to Tabitha Soren! Does that name ring a bell to you? It did to me... Tabitha "MTV News" Soren? Tabitha "Choose or Lose" Soren?

How about a visual reminder:


Total blast from the past, right?

OK, so anyway, I was very proud of myself for finishing this book - and more proud that I was actually interested in its content.

And it made me curious. Are there any other MBA-bound DomestiGals out there? Or any Gals who already have their MBAs? Or perhaps Gals who aspire to be, as Michael Lewis would say, Big Swinging Dicks on Wall Street (with apologies for my bad language but I am trying to learn the lingo)?

Not that I want to make big bucks upon graduating a year from now. Nope, I plan to get married and have bab - um, I mean, return to the non-profit world and conquer it with my keen finance skills and improved schmoozing abilities. Though I'm not sure how this progam will help me improve on perfection in that particular area.

Love,

Domestic Budding MBA Rockstar Jen

This is about YOU, Sue.

Oh Sue,

I do not even know where to start with you.

First of all, please tell me you only forgot to blog about your anniversary, but that you did in fact remember to celebrate it with your beloved. And if you did forget to wish him a happy anniversary, I don't want to know. I mean I have been planning The Lawyer's second anniversary present since, like, the week before our first. But this is not about me.

Also, you got the correct season and year of our wedding, but the wrong month, my dear. Not that I am prepared to spill our actual date into the blogosphere, as I fear the sans-ring-jinx-potential, but I just want to make sure you are properly preggo at the right time.

Aha! Bet you thought the vision of you with The Good Doctor's spawn in your womb and no wedding ring on your finger presiding over my dream nuptials would scandalize me! Alas, no.

What is slightly unnerving, however, is that it seems you and Jewish George are starting to veer in quite different directions when it comes to turning the DP into a big M. I thought you were both cool with being in a post office worker-sanctioned Domestic Partnership. I mean, you're like my token alternafriend. All my other friends are or want to get married. I need someone in my life who adds a little diversity (and I don't just mean your half-Asian hotness).

But this is not about me. I just want to make sure that you are continuing to be true to yourfabself and that the lines of communication between you and Save-the-Children-Man are open and functioning as efficiently as Michael Phelps' freestyle.

I have enough things in my life to worry about right now, from starting my MBA to picking out wedding favors. Please do not add to the load.

(Not that this is about me.)

Love to you,

Jen

Almost Thirty and Still Dirty, Twenty-Seven and in Food Heaven

Sue,

I mean I am not even going to acknowledge the "swallow" comment. That being said, Madonna's level of hotness (which, granted, has been fluctuating due to the A-Rod scandal and ensuing ginormous donation to her charity) is indeed A to the Mazing and nothing you will not be able to attain. IN TWENTY YEARS.

As for the big 3-0, let's try to relax... and focus on my wedding. Shall we? I certainly can think of no better distraction! Am I a good friend or what?

So as you know, my pre-MBA reading and career prep is piling up around me. Thus I decided it is time to get back to my wedding planning. Yes - before you ask - there is still no rock in sight... but that will not deter me from planning my fabulous future nuptials!

In fact, I have news: we booked a caterer! Big Wedding Decision Number Two - well, technically, Number Three - can be struck from the list! We have the Location of Dreams, and now we have the Caterer of Dreams.

As you may recall, I had been fluctuating, much like Madonna's hotness, between two companies. Ever the only child that I am, I (we) basically chose the caterer who gave me (um, us) the most attention. And I'm not afraid to admit it! Plus, the chosen ones are also willing to serve a "local delicacy" (read: cheap-o Chinese noodles from a strip mall restaurant that taste surprisingly good if you add enough vinegar) requested by The Lawyer and didn't turn down their noses at our somewhat simplistic menu ideas. They just called our taste "Americana." Genius! Bring on the mac 'n cheese balls!

Please do not take advantage of the easy pun here. No one needs to hear more about how I will be serving balls at my wedding.

More plans to come!

Love,

DG

Ode to Dy

Sue,

Every trace of the teenagers is gone!  Phew!  Bless my Dyson.  My house is mine again.  Of course, that means I need to buckle down and actually be a little bit productive.  I fear, with the arrival of my pre-MBA course reading and career services preparation (that I have been informed in no subtle way is "COMPULSORY" - whoa! Settle down, folks!), that my lady of leisure days are drawing to a close.  Horrifying.  Seriously.

But I will not go quietly!  I will continue to plan my wedding despite the lack of an engagement ring!  I will strive to be the best Domestic Goddess I can be despite the fact that I will soon assume another, much less fabulous title of "grad student"!  Most importantly of all, I will remain dedicated to my Dyson and the dust-free, teenage grit-free environment it provides.

In fact, so enthused am I about my Dyson that I came up with a little ditty today (with kudos to Beethoven, obv)...

Ahem.  Here goes.

Ode to Dy

Dyson, Dyson
I adore Thee

God of Suction

Lord of Clean

Bunnies of dust flee before Thee

Hail Thee to the homey gleam 

Suck the dirt of jogs and errands 

Rid the house of my hairballs

Not that I have grody split-ends

But they add up 'gainst the walls

Housewives join the mighty chorus

Which the morning tasks began

Dyson love is reigning o'er us

Vacuum love leaves time to tan

Ever cleaning march we onward

Fabulous in the name of "wife"

Joyful suction brings us sun-ward

In the triumph song of life

I have too much free time.  I know.  And I am cherishing every second of it.

Love,

Jen, the Domestic Goddess 4evah!

Dooce this.

Dear Jen,

I think I officially know what your (our?) goal should be in life after you stop being a DomestiGal of Leisure and complete your MBA. To be, as Heather B. Armstrong writes in her blog Dooce, a "Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) or a Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker." Think I'm joking? Check her out at Dooce where her mission statement is "Talking a lot about poop, boobs, her dog, and her daughter. Dooced: to lose one’s job because of one’s website."

I mean, Domestic Goddess, seriously.

• You're beyond obsessed with vacuums, you kind of have me wondering what you're actually doing with that hose all day long. (I can't believe that you and The Lawyer are so messy that you have to vacuum every day.)

• You actually had a good time with teenage girls (that are not your own) this past week. That's just freakish.

If I get one more behind-the-blog-scenes email from you about your bridal woes, I might have to go all Taiwanese ape-shit on you and travel to London to lovingly do the following:





With great affection,

Sue the Sane